Life's a Bean!

Beans come in all shapes and sizes. Some people use them for themselves. Others use them for others. Some beans are used as food. Others are used for jewelry. Some beans are used for coffee, and some are even carefully written on to relay messages to others.

Like beans we are each a miraculous bean, just waiting to rest in what we hope is good soil. Throughout our short lives on this earth we experience rain, sleet, snow, mud, dirt, sun, and wind. In the end, though we have more control over when and where we go, we don't have complete control. God has plans for each one of us and can use us to bring glory to His name and purpose regardless of our opinions and understanding of our circumstances. All he asks is for us to be available and to surrender to his unlimited opportunities to glorify His name. Are you available?

You are different

No matter how hard I have tried to keep a planner, it has failed. No matter how clean I try to keep my room, it doesn't last more than 4 days. No matter how many times I look at my online calendar and update it, something gets off track. The more time I spend trying to fit into the mold that makes sense to the majority of people, the longer it takes me to complete things and the more frustration it brings upon them. I have been reminded yet again how blessed I am to be in a job where my professional opinion is respected and trusted to be effective. Though others may be skeptical at first, in the end my methods come from a direction they weren't expecting and cover many things that the method they would have taken didn't cover.

Your entire life you are going to have people trying to guide you to do things and approach things in a certain way. First of all, never dismiss their advice simply because it doesn't make sense to you. There is a reason why they are teaching you and not the other way around. Regardless of experience or education, gleam the useful insights and leave the rest. Life is but a breath and you only have so many to breath. Second, don't be satisfied with your achievement until it not only resembles the greatness you have learned, but if possible, also reflects your own creativity and insight. Third, NEVER, EVER, base your own self worth or satisfaction in what you are doing or who you are off of another human beings opinion. We are often blessed with having people we look up to give us advice and sometimes even their approval. Don't forget that the difference between you two is simply time + opportunity + hard work = where you two are. Take that equation and add your own talents and hard work to it and the least you could come up with is the same person, but why would you settle for less. God has created you and me for a reason, don't miss it. Seek God's guidance, ask for His wisdom, look for his hand of providence and opportunity in your life, and don't EVER long for another's achievements and goals, that's theirs, yours are completely different, and who knows, probably better, at least better for You. God knows what He is doing, he knew you before you were even created, and has Great things in store for you.

From day to day you never know for sure what is going to happen. Some say, expect the unexpected. I say never take anything or anyone for granted. If you don't take anyone or anything for granted, then you won't regret it later. If they or it was something wonderful, then you lived it out to the fullest. If it or they weren't then you are none the worse for it, you learn from the worst, cherish the best, and give to others all the rest.

When your dreams become shallow puddles and the impossible becomes reality!

Living a life that relies upon the providence from God's Holy Spirit and hand is proving to be the grandest adventure I could ask for. Growing up I wanted adventure like any little boy. As I continued to live I sought out more adventure. Then as I became a teenager I realized there were basically three paths those around me chose. 1. Self-made adventure, which was often at the expense of those around them so they could achieve their dreams as the priority. 2. Those who played it "safe" and followed the crowd around them. 3. Those who sought to give up their dreams at that time, trusting that God's were much grander and stepped out in faith to take hold of that.


Like anyone, I too went through having dreams and wondering which one God could possibly want me to seek and achieve to bring honor and glory to Him. There is that stressful time between your Junior year of High School and sometimes as late as your Junior  year of College when you go back and forth between majors, believing the lie our society tells us that "what you choose will determine what you will do for the rest of your life." As time has continued to tick away, so have I, but with passion and drive towards God. Though I have seldom felt like every part of me was 100% on board with the idea of trusting all dreams and aspirations and possibilities of my life to God, I did the best I could with what I had. That often lead me to times of prayer when I felt like God would simply smile and tell me to "just trust Him and wait" that "His timing was not my timing" but that "He would never let me down or fail me". So, though often frustrated, I asked Him for the faith to trust in Him and seek Him.

As I constantly struggled through college I questioned if my dream of being a band director was indeed my purpose. I was quite confused as to why on earth my passion for music and sharing it with others and teaching were so strong, but all my classes were so incredibly difficult for me. After graduating even my professors shook their heads in disbelief on how I made it with such a stressful schedule. The applauded me on my perseverance and congratulated me. When I tried to thank them, they put it right back on me, saying things such as "I don't know how you did it, but you did, and way to go!"

I knew God had given me talents in the area of teaching and music and was filled with determination filled by the strength of God's supernatural Grace. They may not know how I made it, but I do, it was God through me. I questioned if I could make it through the program while working so much on top of it (which I had to) nearly EVERY SEMESTER. Semester after semester I would meet with my professor nearly at my wits end, contemplating my major. Then there was an end to it.... One semester my advisor asked me, "Kris, what can not imagine living without?" The answer was simple fo me, Teaching Music. From that point on whenever things got really hard and I felt like I was going to drop to the ground in exhaustion or not be physically, mentally, emotionally able to face the day, God strengthened me and I would say "I'll graduate with this degree even if it literally KILLS ME! And I meant it.

One year after God carried me to that finish line of victory and celebration, I am sit here in South Korea having finished my first year of teaching "ENGLISH" in a public High School... (To be continued)

Things I am thankful for in South Korea

1. A plethora of caring Korean friends who care about me.
2. A cheap transportation system
3. A great school to work at that appreciates me and what I do. 
4. A saxophone ensemble who lets me be part of them and treats me great, even though most of us can't communicate in the same language.
5. A community who appreciates my native language greatly. 
6. A wonderful support system of friends from my own country who live close to me.
7. 2 churches who value me and my contributions in worshipping our King Jesus Christ and who encourage me continually.
8. Retailers that take meticulous care of the presentation of their stores. 
9. Clean subways
10. Korea's appreciation of education. (Even though I may not agree with the way they emphasize its priority to their youth, it sure is nice to be around others who greatly value it.)

The LIST of things In Korea, unique in my experience to Korea:
1. Jenny, Terry, Jeff. Three Korean friends who work for the city of Cheonan Department of Education that have made my experience in Korea much easier than many foreigners due to their tremendous amount of help.
2. Cheap meals readily available
3. H&M that just went in in the shopping mall.
4. Cheap transportation
5. Continual expression of others of how they appreciate me. I am not use to this, but like anyone, it is quite helpful, especially when you are around so many foreign
6. Not having to worry about registering my car, or deal with the insurance for it, or pay about $60-$70 every week and a half for gas.
7. Having several people in very similar place in life around me. 

THE LIST after a year in South Korea!

spending about a year here in South Korea, there are a few things that come to mind that I miss most and occasionally took for granted while living there. These are in no specific order.  My next post will be those things I am thankful for in Korea.

1. Large book stores with nice coffee shops

2. Driving my car

3. Wal-Mart

4. Starbucks where I knew most everyone and I could tell them easily exactly how to make any drink and they understood me.

5. Open roads, not congested

6. Open country to drive or be in within 30 min of my home.

7. Having several places open until later at night.

8. Various types of music available to listen to on the radio at any time

9. Target

10. Best Buy

11. Taco Bell

12. Real Mexican Food

13. Ease of access to several small commodities such as different kinds of mustard, ketchup, 100's of different beverages of different brands, qualities, and styles at the grocery store.

14. Walking down the street and feeling the camaraderie between others and myself that we are both independent and don't "need" to be with someone else right beside us most of the time for security. This is not meant to be a slander on the Korean Culture; it is just a difference that is instilled in their culture, not mine. 

15. Being able to drive for miles without seeing another human being.

16. Having access to most anything you want in the world without paying through the nose for it. You might have to drive a bit further though.

17. Walking down the sidewalk and using public transportation with others who for the most part, attempt to give you personal space.

18. People that will say hello back at me even if they don’t know me.

19. People who will smile back at me even if they don’t know me.

20. Having a car to wash and detail.

21. BEING ABLE TO READ THE INGREDIENTS AND NUTRITIONAL FACTS ON FOOD AND VITIMINS I BUY.

22. Being able to use restrooms, knowing for a fact that they have likely been cleaned at least once that day.

23. HEATED HALLWAYS IN PUBLIC BUILDINGS!!!

24. Great quality coffee in abundance for semi-decent prices.

25. Seeing name brands and not having the thought that they might be rip-offs even cross my mind.

26. REAL ITALIAN FOOD INGREDIANTS easily accessible.

27. Being able to talk to anyone around me and know they will understand what I’m saying, even if they are deaf and I have to write it.

28. High quality musical performances readily available in English.

29. High quality theatrical performances readily available in English.

30. Being able to pay $30 or less and get a briefcase or backpack that will last at least a year without completely falling apart. I’m currently on my second or third bag.

Nothing to hide when numbers abide

God with me 100% of the time as my strength, provider, comforter, encourager = 

291 days in Korea so far = 

6,984 hours = 

419,040 minutes = 

25,142,400 seconds =

 29,332,800 heart beats at 70bpm =

 6,556 miles from Kansas City to Seoul, South Korea = 

34,615,680 feet apart, one way traveling =

 415,388,160 inches = 

Looked at daily as what an "American" is when there are 312,664, 583 people to represent ( http://www.census.gov/population/www/popclockus.html) =

over 560 students and young lives influenced in more ways than I will likely realize, both positively and negatively =

 traveled over 100 hours by train and bus =

 learned about a unique and semi-isolated culture that most people in the world will never experience in its natural state = 

Eating rice every day =

 adapting to a foreign culture continually = 

hearing a language I don't understand for 90% of the day =

 realizing how much people think they understand the world when they are still trying to get out of the sandbox =

 opening up in my heart and mind and becoming the man of God, only by God's grace, that He has created me to be =

 not driving a car for a year =

becoming more aware of how little is necessary in life to survive=

 experiencing what a culture based on "what is best for society first and the individual last" vs "what is best for the individual first and society last" is like =

 realizing how nice it is to have a college education, but how minutely necessary that is when you seek God's guidance for opportunity and living a fulfilling life =

 realizing that my education, skills, relationships and experiences are not what make me who I am, it is God using them in his masterpiece of a symphony called life to play the song I get to be part of. 

It all comes down to perspective really.

Most people don't give numbers like it’s a second thought, or even a first for that matter. But at the end of the day, every day, there is an equal sign at the end of our time, and there will be until time ceases to exist. It is not the sheer quantity or mass before or after the equal sign that holds the greatest importance, but rather two presidents. The first precedent being that one of them is love. The second precedent being that they are equal.

L.O.V.E.

Here I set in a coffee shop no bigger than a middle class American Master bedroom sipping on espresso as if it is going to make a bigger difference than last time ;). Don't get me wrong, I'm not depressed or even overwhelmed, but I am tired. It has been 10 months since I finished my student teaching for my undergrad and I can honestly say that just now I am beginning to feel like I'm regaining a little bit of what the essence of life sucking experience demanded of me. I think that sometimes there are things and situations in life that would break anyone who wasn't meant to endure them in half. Student teaching while working weekends at a busy coffee shop is one of those! In fact, had it not been for God, I would have likely ended up in a wrecked car, a hospital bed, or a psychiatric ward.

Since student teaching I have donated a third of my belongings, moved another third of them to the state I left 6 years ago with my family, and left the other third where they were at my merciful storage unit, also known as my friends' house.   I don't believe in hanging on to a material possessions if you simply cannot part with it. If you don't feel like you can part with something, then in my book, it simply comes too close to competing with God. Our lives are but a blip on the radar screen of time. Any material possession I have or have had is not due to my own capability but was given to me. Yes I may have worked hard and put hours in to earn the money to buy those things, but not without God putting the breath in my lungs, the food in my stomach and a healthy body that functioned well enough to do the tasks. Without His continual hand upon my spirit and life, I would be no different than the other pieces of dirt I walk upon with the shoes He provided for me.

I don't look at my life as mine. If it is mine, then I don't see it that way because each day I give it all right back to its Creator. I feel so lucky, for I feel like I have been let in on the biggest secret that is always telling others about itself but no one listens. I'm not entirely sure why I listened, but I don't question it in perspective that I might miss out on another exciting new perspective it has to share with me. The secret is  Christ. The most loving, powerful, just, merciful, caring, forgiving, righteous, amazing, decisive, understanding God and King of all existence. I'm not sure why, but He decided to make us. He decided to make us with all the emotions, creativity, strengths, weaknesses, and complexities that we have. Then, once He created us, He wanted to share with us, and be given back a kind of love that only He can give. In order to do this though, He had to become vulnerable. In order for us to experience and give and embrace His creation of Love, we had to have a choice. You see when you take the free choice out of LOVE it simply becomes love. It becomes something short of its original intent, and therefore becomes corrupt and sold short. It becomes gossip, lust, greed, a grudge, confusion, regret, revenge, it becomes... sin.

Now you would think that anyone in their right mind who had any concern for their own well-being would give someone else one, two, but at the most three chances. After three times of getting burned, back-bitten, betrayed, sworn at, cursed, defiled, cheated on, and much more, that should be it! No more! Right? Wrong. You see, that is the extent of our love, because we don't understand LOVE. Before we can understand LOVE, our understanding and living in love must die. We must come to the end of who we have convinced ourselves that we need to be. We must first give up our own "freedom" if you will, in faith that true FREEDOM and LOVE are one in the same. For you see, as long as you hold on to you and what you think is importan... as long as you refuse to make yourself vulnerable and look into becoming more, finding out why you are really here, you will never experience this incredible LOVE, FREEDOM and YOU that was created by an incredible Heavenly God named Jesus Christ who loves you so much that He gave you all you have in hopes that you would want more and better  and choose to love Him back! He wants to give us so much, He wants to help us see this world in a new light, a new excitement, a new way that is literally only possible if we come to the end of us and reach out vulnerably and give our lives to Him to fill with Joy, forgiveness, healing, and joy. This freedom can only be found in the giving up the bondage to sin in our lives and claiming our belief in Jesus Christ and the cleansing power of His blood shed for us on the Cross.

So, now that the espresso is gone, the hour has passed and I have had the blessing and joy of sharing a glimpse of the joy that literally renews me daily, I digress to go rest and do it all again tomorrow. May joy fill your life and you experience the same joy I don't know what I would do without. ;)

Full of inspiration!

"Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement, nothing can be done without hope and confidence." -- Helen Keller


"A very wise old teacher once said: "I consider a day's teaching wasted if we do not all have one hearty laugh." He meant that when people laugh together, they cease to be young and old, master and pupils, jailer and prisoners. They become a single group of human beings enjoying its existence." -- Gilbert Highet


"Learning is finding out what we already know. Doing is demonstrating that you know it. Teaching is reminding others that they know just as well as you. You are all learners, doers, and teachers." -- Richard Bach


"Treat people as if they were what they ought to be and you help them become what they are capable of becoming." -- Goethe


"In education it isn't how much you have committed to memory or even how much you know. It's being able to differentiate between what you do know and what you don't. It's knowing where to go to find out what you need to know and it's knowing how to use the information you get." --William Feather


"I think a hero is an ordinary individual who finds strength to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles." -- Christopher Reeve


"Good teaching is more a giving of right questions than a giving of right answers."--Josef Albers


"Much education today is monumentally ineffective. All too often we are giving young people cut flowers when we should be teaching them to grow their own plants." -- John Gardner


"A hundred years from now, it will not matter what kind of car I drove, what kind of house I lived in, how much money I had in the bank...but the world may be a better place because I made a difference in the life of a child." -- Forest Witcraft

9 MONTHS!

Depending on your perspective, nine months is either long enough for God to create a baby, or not nearly long enough to live in one house. Like I said, its all a matter of perspective. Whichever view you lean towards the period of time is concrete at least to our human understanding. During that length of time in the most recent history of my life I find gross number of experiences I have been blessed with incredible. 

         During this time I have entered my 10 country and 3rd continent.
        I have eaten sea creatures I both didn't know existed, and others I wish still didn't.
       I have sat on the floor more while eating than I did during my entire childhood at play. (possible                                                                                         slight exaggeration there. ;)
  My world has been flipped upside down when it comes to conversation! I have been in a world where                        .   instead of being able to have higher levels of conversation in my own tongue with elders, it is the youth                  .    Just when I thought I had  perspective, it all changed.
       I have been in a world where Biggie-sized drinks are dwarfed but the human desire for repeated-      .           .       refills are the same.
.         To attempt to once again, gain a perspective I would reach for something I knew, like coffee.
.           NOPE! Finally my persistence has payed off, but for the first month I was truly terror stricken that .          Millions of people in Korea believed coffee came pre-measured small packages containing 8% .         .         coffee imitation, and it was the best coffee ever!
         Just when I thought I had perspective it all changed.
.       Before coming to this beautiful land of mystery and adventure, I didn't suspect I would go through              .      culture shock.
.     Wrong!
      Just when I thought I had perspective, it all changed.
     I stepped into a world where space has become so limited that to put the word personal before it would .   be selfish.
  Even though I originally, and sometimes do still struggle with that, I can now begin to see the beauty .    .     within it. A common thought among many westerners when visiting this land is to think that things . .       are done wrong. Then they hear other say "not wrong, just different". Then they play along with .                                               .         the phrase while still believing inside that it is wrong and and "not as "good" as my  country/culture". Then there are about two more groups of people. Two groups between which I .              tend to categorize myself. The two groups are those who can see that there little things that are different about this land and people that flows in a beautiful way, and, those who have been able to fully embrace the culture and breath it in so that they begin to become part of it, not just a piece of debris floating aloft like yellow dust.

If there is one important glint of light I have been able to harness in my retina long enough to enjoy its beauty, it is that sometimes even things that appear to not make sense, like run on sentences, improper word usage, ridonculus words that only half the people understand and cultures on the other side of the world, like the format and out-l;i,n.:E of this paper can be crazy, but you have to look beyond that, and listen to it with your heart. Sometimes to see what God is trying to show us, we have to quit trying to figure it all out, and be still, listen, trust, follow, and know... He Is G-D! ;) pEaCe BEEE wit ya! Batter Up!?



       

 

DON'T CENSOR ME!!!!!!! ;)

I have now been in South Kor... for about 9 months. So in a weird sort of way if I was a baby I would now be taking my first breath in and out in this new world. For the past 9 months I have learned more things about the Kor... people and culture than I can reiterate in this post. Although, there is one aspect that I would like to bring up, censorship.

Even though I don't speak the Kor... language "Hangul", I do learn many things about the culture. I volunteer to teach a college age young Kor... woman English on the weekends, I teach an English speaking class full time during the week at a public high school, and meet new Kor... friends on the Kor... University campus I am near. I also play in a saxophone group that rehearses and performs together. I am the only native English speaker out of about 18 people. Needless to say, I have more exposure to Kor... culture than I could ever get from researching it back in the United States. Thankfully I tend to be a rather observant person.

DON'T CENSOR ME!!!!! Since this blog will be read mostly by Native English speakers from Western cultures, I will direct my comments to them. Below I will include information on the censorship within Kor.. from various sources along with personal experience. This is the place for you to feel free to post your thoughts and opinions. Please take into consideration that this is a blog viewable to all audiences. I would love to hear your opinions and questions. If I don't know, I'll ask a Korean friend or research it myself other places.


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Censorship_in_South_Korea

“The nation of S. K. is a world leader in Internet and broadband penetration, but its citizens do not have access to free and unfiltered Internet. S.K.s government maintains a broad-ranging approach toward the regulation of specific online content and imposes a substantial level of censorship on election-related discourse and on a large number of websites that the government deems subversive or socially harmful.[2] Such policies are particularly pronounced with regard to anonymity on the Internet”

“Since 2008 illegal websites such as unrated games, pornography, gambling, etc., have also been blocked. Attempts to access these sites are automatically redirected to the warning page showing "This site is legally blocked by the government regulations”

“In 2007, numerous bloggers were censored and their posts deleted by police for expressing criticism of, or even support for, presidential candidates. This even lead to some bloggers being arrested by the police.[“
<sup>(Personal experience)
During my privileged time of teaching this year I have had several instances of both male and female students using the "F" word toward each other or various other words that would be deemed "inappropriate" for a professional school setting. Most people would simply tell the student not to say those words and move on. After punishing a student with typical Korean discipline (exercise) the first time it happened in my class, I observed the confused look on the students' faces. I then decided it was time to further investigate. In broken English that the students could understand (leaving out articles) I asked them, "what does the word "F" mean"?  The students didn't act like they were holding back knowledge, they genuinely didn't know. You see, in South Korea censorship even extends to the big screen. What is on the big screen? Many American movies  with many "professionally inappropriate" words in them. The catch is, when putting up the sub-titles, the "bad" words are simply all translated as the equivalent of  "oh shucks" or  "oh man!" So students then use these English equivalents in public in place of the non offensive or conservative Korean word they meant to use.

What are you thoughts?
1. For a country that prizes unity and looking at what is best for the whole first and individual last, instead of vice verse like the States does, is it a good or bad thing?
2. Does this share socialist characteristics?
3. Is this helping shield the public from dealing with many problems Western culture already faces?
4. If you have a Google account, please sign in a drop your comment on this actual blog instead of other places it may be linked to if you have time. Thanks again for your time.</sup>

Korean High School Education

This is a quick glimpse into a typical testing situation in a Korean public high school in the city of Cheonan, South Korea.

Student population: Approximately 1600
Class size: 40 students
Classroom description: Each classroom has 40 desks distributed into 5 rows. The rows literally touch the back and front of the classroom to fit as many students as possible in. On the hallway SIDE of the classroom there are two sliding wooden doors with frosted or tinted glass window in them, minus one that can be used to see in. The first row of desks is literally blocking both sliding doors so that students must move their desks or be sitting very close in order for anyone to get into the room. During test time, each of the rows are spaced about 2 1/2 feet apart. The floors are wooden even though this building is only about 5 years old. Also due to the poor maintenance given to the building, it already looks 20 years old. The maintenance is partially due to the students being responsible for cleaning their own class during a 20 minute cleaning period each day instead of a custodial worker. Any native English teacher in South Korea asked to  describe cleaning period would likely mention students pushing around dirty mop water for 20 minutes. There is a large chalkboard at the front of each classroom that is capable of moving up and down on vertical tracks to make viewing from the back of the room easier. Also on the front right of the classroom suspended from the ceiling is an newer, very thin, TV.

Students: The students in this particular high school are divided up into gender specific home rooms. When they attend other classes they are sometimes co-ed. During testing it is common for students to be handed 3-5 large sheets of thin gray paper on which the test is printed. The students are also handed a scan-tron bubble sheet to mark their answers on. Of course there is silence expected throughout the hour long testing period. During a testing day they usually take 3 tests with a ten minute break in between each. They also have a one hour long study period among those periods. The material for their mid-terms is written by their teachers from the material in their curriculum. Since my class is a speaking class only, I am not asked to write or grade a test for English speaking.

Questions: If you have any further questions about Korean testing in a public high school, students study habits, common practices, discipline and so on, please just ask.

Who I know, influences what you are.

We have all heard something similar to "who you know, determines where you go", or "what you know, determines where you go". I beg to propose a new concept for you. I encourage you to be more purposeful in your relationships you have in life. I propose "who I know, influences what you are". In other words, I don't care how strongly minded or willed you are, those you surround yourself with, influence your thoughts, and have an effect on your emotions and view, whether that be negative or positive. So if who you know influences that, then you in turn influence me.

I have had friends who are great people. They are kind, smart, considerate, goal oriented, dreamers, thinkers, and so on, but each and every one of them that is still a friend has something in common in who they are. Each one of them has something about them that is good. Jean-Jacques Rousseau believed this way despite his difficult childhood of his mother dyeing from his birth, his father abandoning him when he was only 10 and many more things. The question I have for you today is, was Jean-Jacques Rousseau spot on when he expressed man being born innately good but that it was society that corrupted man? He argued that man was made unhappy by experiences that he had in society because society was distorted, corrupt, and
false. I stressed education to a tremendous degree. I interperate it that he felt with education, all could be solved. What do you think? Looking at your country, how do you feel about "education" being the fix-it tool to a happy, fulfilled, good person. Mind you, I didn't specify its quality. For you see, if I am an educator, it truly is who I know, that influences what you are, or who your children will become. I personally believe more than credentials should be considered when determining an educator who will influence the lives and practices of millions.

Near Midnight Blabbing

So its near midnight and I find myself once again sitting at my desk, the same place I was hours ago, doing nothing world changing. Now of course not every day's choices to make a difference will be as obvious as others, but surfing the internet hours for boring things, just doesn't quite qualify. My brain is tired, my eyes are crossing, and yet as usual, my heart is full of passion. I'm nor quite sure what is up with me, but I believe my recent quick decline of energy each evening has something to do with leaving all I've been use to, moving to a new country, and beginning a new career. None the less, I don't think those are a good enough reason to let each evening waste away in front of a computer. I have been thinking a lot lately. I've been thinking about how short life is. How human each person is no matter how much others treat them as an idol, role model, hero, or whatever they may or may not actually be. I've been thinking how fast and yet slow at the same time college flew by, and no I wouldn't do it again if I had the chance. We are each given a short amount of time on this planet. I hope to spend as much of it as I can living up to the purposes God has for this gift He has entrusted to me called, "life".  Hopefully my new regime of exercising three times a week and trying to eat healthier will soon catch up and give me a little boost of energy and focus to match my passion so that I can do more things for others instead of needing so much time to myself. Adjusting to this new culture has tended often leave me feeling drained and not wanting to talk to anyone at the end of the day. I love where I am. I love the people I'm around, and I have more to be thankful for than I could fit in the space allotted me, but I've been made a passionate man for a reason, and I know that man has more to share and give than he is, so by God's grace, power, help, guidance, love, strength, patience, and much more, I will.

God and His Purpose...

God works in mysterious ways...

I had the most peculiar dream last night. Having a dream that I can recall in and of itself is noteworthy, but this one seemed especially distracting to me. I don't remember much other than I was the father of a newborn. The newborn was especially small and especially fragile, truly per-mature in this world of trains, plains and automobiles. The most disturbing part to me was that for some reason, I was not the one taking care of the precious little one, but my sister instead. Normally I would just think to myself, " hmmm, how odd" and then dismiss it. But I don't think this dream was a fluke or even coincidence. You see lately like many 26 year old I have been pressured more and more by those around me of how "in their minds and according to what the norm of culture has taught them" I need to get married for some reason. Now please don't misunderstand me, I have been a die-hard romantic since I could crawl over to the girl next to me in per-school and plant a kiss on her, completely missing her cheek and hitting her eyeball. Okay so maybe not that young, but within a couple years it is no exaggeration.

One of the greatest dreams in my life has been to share the experience of going through this adventure called life while bringing honor and glory to God with my beautiful bride by my side. Whether in or out of a relationship I could be found day dreaming while I watched other couples. I would be dreaming of how incredible they must have felt. One of my gifts is to share in the emotions or feelings others feel on occastion simply by reading into their eyes and... feeling it. As I would watch them smile and go on about their date, not in a creepy way ;), I would hope for true success in their relationship not the broken hearts I had lived so vividly. Thankfully God has taught me a lot through those experiences and created beaty from those ashes. God is truly incredible and faithful when we decide to unyieldingly follow Him.

I just want to take this opportunity to thank and praise God for showing me that we all grow at different rates, mature at different rates, and just because you are mature enough doesn't mean the timing or situation is His best for you to be in a relationship. As I have continued to grow in my personal intimate walk with God I feel like my small understanding of the world, and God's love and creation and His purposes in what He does has blossomed. I have so much to learn and grow in experience wise before I go to join Him in heaven after dieing here. There is so much to do, and now I have embraced why I am here. It isn't about me and my desires and wants. It is about Him! My life is but dust without Him. My dreams are nothing more than a split second in time without Him. I am nothing without Him. But His glory can be everything through Him using me, my energy, my will, my submission to honor Him in all I do, say, and dwell upon in my mind. My life has bloomed and I am loving my God more than ever.

I know know, that He is the one who placed that desire to share this amazing adventure called life with someone else. I also know that His timing is perfect and beautiful. He knows what is going on in her life, heart, and mind, just as He does me. When His timing is perfect, He will have us meet. When our hearts and lives are at the place where by being joined together we would bring the most honor to Him, then we will meet. Now whether this dream I had relates or not, I think it possibly could. i think it could be a reminder to me that just because something is possible, it doesn't mean it is the best timing for it. There are many things that we can make happen in our lives, but it doesn't mean it was His perfect timing. If we seek Him, His glory, and live for Him, his providence in our lives will blow us away! Here's to His providence, His faithfulness, and my faith in Him. May all that I am, every breath, every thought, every hour of studying, every hour sleeping, every hour working, every hour exercising, every hour reading, every hour living be lived unto His glory, for without Him, we ......are...... nothing.. I Love My Jesus, and I love this gift called life that He has given me the blessing of living with its ups, its downs, and its meander arounds. ;)

Just shy of sIx mONTHs!

I truly enjoy looking back at life. I remember times when I seriously considered being an architect, a fighter pilot, a marine, a Navy Seal, a race car driver, a model, a teacher, a mechanic, and so many more. You see I grew up in America. You may wonder why I would point that out. If I still lived in America I would think the same, but I don't. I am current living the life as a High school teacher in South Korea. The culture around me presses their students just short of death compared to the States. The overwhelming norm in South Korea is the students having the responsibility of providing for and housing their parents later in life. I know that is also practiced in America, but less common these days. Also in this culture that pressure is reflected in the incredible pressure of going to school until 9:00p.m. or later. In a country smaller than, or about the size of Kentucky, there are over 21 million people. Competition for any and every job here is steep. If you don't get a job as a doctor, lawyer, CEO, or something else high, your whole family works themselve to the bone to make the living that I would expect to be able to make alone back in the states. It is now summer and instead of my students going home at 9p.m, they go home at either 3:30 or 6p.m. Well, that's what I thought, then I found out some of them still go to hawgwans (private academies specializing in certain studies). My high school students will get one week of break before the next semester begins. After talking with a teacher yesterday I was happy to discover the great fluctuation in class attendence is due to some students simply staying home. The school holds three weeks of summer school for all students to attend, but they are not really held accountable for it, and yet I still have entire classes of near 40 students show up.
The culture is so incredibly different here. Parts of the culture seem advanced, and other ways are soooo.... different, almost upside down and backwards from the states. I personally don't think it is right to work students 70+ hours a week in school. The obvious lack of social skill development in the students' lives along with a grave unhappiness is obvious.
So why are you staying Kris?
I'm staying because I get to be a source of encouragement, inspiration, care, kindness, listening, and a smile for each and every student I teach. I strive to pour myself into their lives and education with the best of me. This is an exhausting, and wonderfully educational experience. This opportunity is making me a stronger Christian, friend, brother, Son, Cousine, future husband, and overall person. Thanks be to God. Even though the opportunity is great, I do need a rest. I officially get 4 full weeks of vacation a year. I decided to split mine up with one in the summer, and three in the winter. So from the looks of it, I will be heading back to visit my friends and family around next February of 2012.

Thankful

I'm simply complex. I'm complexily simple.
All statements stated here make perfect sense. Guaranteed. If you don't understand, simply ask. I practice explaining things to hundreds of people every week.

I am thankful for:
Life
Death
Beauty
Miracles
Awareness of Pain
Awareness of starvation
Awareness of troubles I have
Confusion I have
Frustrations I have
Conviction
stress
food
education
opportunities to serve others
opportunities to learn of my weakness as a human
opportunities to observe God's creations.

There is nothing in life or death that God cannot use for good. Yes, NOTHING. :) Blessings upon you, for you too are a creation of God. Don't believ in Him, that's okay, He still believes in you and loves you. :)

CRAZY LOVE by: Francis Chan ( Pg.42-44)

YOUR JOB IS TO BRING HIM GLORY! :)

I used to believe that in this world there are two kinds of people: natural worriers and naturally joyful people. I couldn't really help it that I was the worrying kind. I'm a problem solver, so I have to focus on things that need fixing. God can see that my intensity and anxiety are ministry related. I worry because I take His work seriously.
Right? But then there's that perplexing command: "rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!" (Phil. 4:5). You'll notice that it doesn't end with "... unless you're doing something extremely important." No, it's a command for all of us, and it follows with the charge, "Do not be anxious about anything" ( v.6). That came as a pretty staggering realization. But what I realized next was even more staggering.
When I am consumed by my problems - stressed out about my life, my family, and my job - I actually convey the belief that I think the circumstances are more important than God's command to always rejoice. In other words, that I have a "right" to disobey God because of the magnitude of my responsibilities.
Worry implies that we don't quite trust that God is big enough, powerful enough, or loving enough to take care of what's happening in our lives.
Stress says that the things we are involved in are important enough to merit our impatience, our lack of grace toward others, or our tight grip of control.
Basically, these two behaviors communicate that it's okay to sin and not trust God because the stuff in my life is somehow exceptional. Both worry and stress reek of arrogance. They declare our tendency to forget that we've been forgiven, that our lives here are brief, that we are headed to a place where we won't be lonely afraid, or hurt ever again, and that in the context of God's strength, our problems are small, indeed.
Why are we so quick to forget God? Who do we think we are?
I find myself relearning this lesson often. Even though I glimpse God's holiness, I am still dumb enough to forget that life is all about God and not about me at all. It goes sort of like this...
Suppose you are an extra in an upcoming movei. you will probably scrutinize that one scene where hundreds of people are milling around, just waiting for that two-fifths of a second when you can see the back of your head. Maybe your mom and your closest friend get excited about that two-fifths of a second with you...maybe. But no one else will realize it is you. Even if you tell them, they won't care. Let's take it a step further. What if you rent out the theater on opening night and invite all your friends and family to come see the new movie about you? People will say, "You're an idiot! How could you think this movie is about you?"
Many Christians are even more delusional than the person I've been describing. So many of us think and live lie the movie of life is all about us.
Now consider the movie of life...
God creates the world. (Were you alive then? Was God talking to you when He proclaimed "It is good" about all He had just made?)
Then people rebel against God (who, if you haven't realized it yet, is the main character in this movie), and God floods the earth to rid it of the mess people made of it.
Several generations later, God singles out a ninety-nine-year-old man called Abram and makes him the father of a nation (did you have anything to do with this?)
Later, along come Joseph and Moses and many other ordinary and inadequate people that the movie is also not about. God is the one who picks them and directs them and works miracles through them.
In the next scene, God sends judges and prophets to His nation because the people can't seem to give Him the one thing He asks of them (obedience).
And then, the climax: The Son of God is born among the people whom God still somehow loves. While in this world, the Son teaches His followers what true love looks like. Then the Son of God dies and is resurrected and goes back up to be with God.
And even though the movie isn't quite finished yet, we know what the last scene holds. It's the scene I already described in chapter 1: the throne room of God. Here every being worships God who sits on the throne, for He alone is worthy to be praised.
From start to finish, this movie is obviously about God. He is the main character. How is it possible that we live as though it is about us?
Our scenes in the movie, our brief lives, fall somewhere between the time Jesus ascends into heaven (Acts) and when we will all worship Go on His throne in heaven (Revelation).l...............

So what does that mean for you? 
Frankly, you need to get over yourself. It might sound harsh, but that's seriously what it means.
Maybe life's pretty good for you right now. God has give you this good stuff so that you can show the world a person who enjoys blessings, but who is still totally obsessed with God.
Or maybe life is tough right now, and everything feels lie as struggle. God has allowed hard things in your life so you can show the world that your God is great and that knowing Him brings peace and joy, even when life is hard. Like the psalmist who wrote, "I saw the prosperity of the wicked... Surely in vain have I kept my heart pure... When I tried to understand all this, it was oppressive to me till I entered the sanctuary of God" (Ps. 73:3, 13, 16-17). It is easy to become disillusioned with the circumstances of our lives compared to others. But in the presence of God, He gives us a deeper peace and joy that transcends it all...Your job is to bring Him glory.

WOW!!! Who is she?

Adam walks in from the garden of Eden and pops down a seat on God's heavenly coffee bar. This is in an alternate Universe created by God where woman and man were created at the same time and Adam has not ventured to seek any one in particular out yet as a mate.

A: sigh......
G: That was a mighty big sigh for such a small creation. What's on your mind?
A: I just don't get it.
G: What?
A: Woman?
G: What do you mean? (God is playing dumb to help Adam learn how to think)
A: One minute I'm swinging from the trees with my bro John and having a grand time.The next minute I'm snorkling around the tree of life out off the West coast of Jordan and soaking up the sunshine. But whenever I have a moment that John or Jim or susan or lacey and I aren't hanging out, or I'm not spending enough time with you......
G: (smirk)
A: What was that for? What was that smirk for?
G: Something is missing huh?
A: I don't know, its just like, there is this girl out there, and I haven't met her yet, but its like she is watching me and I can never catch her in the act. It's like our souls were meant to be sharing everything and enjoying life together, but we can just never get close enough to actually meet.
G: There isn't.
A: Huh?
G: Well, there is a woman, and she is out there, but she isn't stocking you or anything. What you are feeling is normal.
A: normal?
G: Yeah, I created you in particular to have that yearning in your heart for a woman. You see others romping around the earth with their lovers and you want to share the same joy they have. I created you as an adventurous man, filled with strength, courage, perseverance, and more. But there is one part of you that in order to make fulfill special purposes in your life, I had to make it extra strong, and that is the passion for caring for others deeply.
A: What do you mean, I love my friends, but I'm not obsessed with always having to be there for them.
G: There are more ways of  caring for others than actually being around them, you'll understand as you live longer. In the meantime listen to me. It is okay to feel like there is a missing place in your heart that someone should fill. Don't believe the lies others tell you about you needing to be married before a certain age, or before you build your own tree house or raft for the Amazon river, just trust my timing. Have I lead you wrong yet?
A: no. I don't know why I doubt you so much, you have never let me down.
G: I know why you doubt me.
A: You do?
G: Because you are human. I love our relationship and cherish it daily.
A: Me too!
G: But to keep it how it is, you had to be what you are, human. The downside to being human is you can't fully comprehend my plans, love, or frankly, me.
So, you must trust me. When you desire to meet her, just think about the stars, planets, fish, animals, and how beautifully and masterfully they flow with each other. Each event in their lives have been perfectly timed according to my plans.
A: sigh
G: I know its hard, but know this, that feeling you keep wanting to be fulfilled.... It will be, and it will be more than you could have ever desired for it to be, on one condition.... you trust and follow me.
A: (Adam smiles...... slides off the coffee bar-stool, and strolls back into the garden.