Here I set in a coffee shop no bigger than a middle class American Master bedroom sipping on espresso as if it is going to make a bigger difference than last time ;). Don't get me wrong, I'm not depressed or even overwhelmed, but I am tired. It has been 10 months since I finished my student teaching for my undergrad and I can honestly say that just now I am beginning to feel like I'm regaining a little bit of what the essence of life sucking experience demanded of me. I think that sometimes there are things and situations in life that would break anyone who wasn't meant to endure them in half. Student teaching while working weekends at a busy coffee shop is one of those! In fact, had it not been for God, I would have likely ended up in a wrecked car, a hospital bed, or a psychiatric ward.
Since student teaching I have donated a third of my belongings, moved another third of them to the state I left 6 years ago with my family, and left the other third where they were at my merciful storage unit, also known as my friends' house. I don't believe in hanging on to a material possessions if you simply cannot part with it. If you don't feel like you can part with something, then in my book, it simply comes too close to competing with God. Our lives are but a blip on the radar screen of time. Any material possession I have or have had is not due to my own capability but was given to me. Yes I may have worked hard and put hours in to earn the money to buy those things, but not without God putting the breath in my lungs, the food in my stomach and a healthy body that functioned well enough to do the tasks. Without His continual hand upon my spirit and life, I would be no different than the other pieces of dirt I walk upon with the shoes He provided for me.
I don't look at my life as mine. If it is mine, then I don't see it that way because each day I give it all right back to its Creator. I feel so lucky, for I feel like I have been let in on the biggest secret that is always telling others about itself but no one listens. I'm not entirely sure why I listened, but I don't question it in perspective that I might miss out on another exciting new perspective it has to share with me. The secret is Christ. The most loving, powerful, just, merciful, caring, forgiving, righteous, amazing, decisive, understanding God and King of all existence. I'm not sure why, but He decided to make us. He decided to make us with all the emotions, creativity, strengths, weaknesses, and complexities that we have. Then, once He created us, He wanted to share with us, and be given back a kind of love that only He can give. In order to do this though, He had to become vulnerable. In order for us to experience and give and embrace His creation of Love, we had to have a choice. You see when you take the free choice out of LOVE it simply becomes love. It becomes something short of its original intent, and therefore becomes corrupt and sold short. It becomes gossip, lust, greed, a grudge, confusion, regret, revenge, it becomes... sin.
Now you would think that anyone in their right mind who had any concern for their own well-being would give someone else one, two, but at the most three chances. After three times of getting burned, back-bitten, betrayed, sworn at, cursed, defiled, cheated on, and much more, that should be it! No more! Right? Wrong. You see, that is the extent of our love, because we don't understand LOVE. Before we can understand LOVE, our understanding and living in love must die. We must come to the end of who we have convinced ourselves that we need to be. We must first give up our own "freedom" if you will, in faith that true FREEDOM and LOVE are one in the same. For you see, as long as you hold on to you and what you think is importan... as long as you refuse to make yourself vulnerable and look into becoming more, finding out why you are really here, you will never experience this incredible LOVE, FREEDOM and YOU that was created by an incredible Heavenly God named Jesus Christ who loves you so much that He gave you all you have in hopes that you would want more and better and choose to love Him back! He wants to give us so much, He wants to help us see this world in a new light, a new excitement, a new way that is literally only possible if we come to the end of us and reach out vulnerably and give our lives to Him to fill with Joy, forgiveness, healing, and joy. This freedom can only be found in the giving up the bondage to sin in our lives and claiming our belief in Jesus Christ and the cleansing power of His blood shed for us on the Cross.
So, now that the espresso is gone, the hour has passed and I have had the blessing and joy of sharing a glimpse of the joy that literally renews me daily, I digress to go rest and do it all again tomorrow. May joy fill your life and you experience the same joy I don't know what I would do without. ;)
Since student teaching I have donated a third of my belongings, moved another third of them to the state I left 6 years ago with my family, and left the other third where they were at my merciful storage unit, also known as my friends' house. I don't believe in hanging on to a material possessions if you simply cannot part with it. If you don't feel like you can part with something, then in my book, it simply comes too close to competing with God. Our lives are but a blip on the radar screen of time. Any material possession I have or have had is not due to my own capability but was given to me. Yes I may have worked hard and put hours in to earn the money to buy those things, but not without God putting the breath in my lungs, the food in my stomach and a healthy body that functioned well enough to do the tasks. Without His continual hand upon my spirit and life, I would be no different than the other pieces of dirt I walk upon with the shoes He provided for me.
I don't look at my life as mine. If it is mine, then I don't see it that way because each day I give it all right back to its Creator. I feel so lucky, for I feel like I have been let in on the biggest secret that is always telling others about itself but no one listens. I'm not entirely sure why I listened, but I don't question it in perspective that I might miss out on another exciting new perspective it has to share with me. The secret is Christ. The most loving, powerful, just, merciful, caring, forgiving, righteous, amazing, decisive, understanding God and King of all existence. I'm not sure why, but He decided to make us. He decided to make us with all the emotions, creativity, strengths, weaknesses, and complexities that we have. Then, once He created us, He wanted to share with us, and be given back a kind of love that only He can give. In order to do this though, He had to become vulnerable. In order for us to experience and give and embrace His creation of Love, we had to have a choice. You see when you take the free choice out of LOVE it simply becomes love. It becomes something short of its original intent, and therefore becomes corrupt and sold short. It becomes gossip, lust, greed, a grudge, confusion, regret, revenge, it becomes... sin.
Now you would think that anyone in their right mind who had any concern for their own well-being would give someone else one, two, but at the most three chances. After three times of getting burned, back-bitten, betrayed, sworn at, cursed, defiled, cheated on, and much more, that should be it! No more! Right? Wrong. You see, that is the extent of our love, because we don't understand LOVE. Before we can understand LOVE, our understanding and living in love must die. We must come to the end of who we have convinced ourselves that we need to be. We must first give up our own "freedom" if you will, in faith that true FREEDOM and LOVE are one in the same. For you see, as long as you hold on to you and what you think is importan... as long as you refuse to make yourself vulnerable and look into becoming more, finding out why you are really here, you will never experience this incredible LOVE, FREEDOM and YOU that was created by an incredible Heavenly God named Jesus Christ who loves you so much that He gave you all you have in hopes that you would want more and better and choose to love Him back! He wants to give us so much, He wants to help us see this world in a new light, a new excitement, a new way that is literally only possible if we come to the end of us and reach out vulnerably and give our lives to Him to fill with Joy, forgiveness, healing, and joy. This freedom can only be found in the giving up the bondage to sin in our lives and claiming our belief in Jesus Christ and the cleansing power of His blood shed for us on the Cross.
So, now that the espresso is gone, the hour has passed and I have had the blessing and joy of sharing a glimpse of the joy that literally renews me daily, I digress to go rest and do it all again tomorrow. May joy fill your life and you experience the same joy I don't know what I would do without. ;)
No comments:
Post a Comment